can we just talk about how this always ends up happening somehow
poop is touching u on the inside rightnow
Why would you even think of this I just
today i was in the emergency room for a concussion and the nurse asked me when my last period was and i thought about it and replied “5th period physics”
when the back of my neck gets tickled
hey sorry im late i didnt want to come
once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory
You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone
go big or go home
i hate when people complain about how technology is “ruining everything.” i have over 200 pictures of my dog on my phone and i can send them to my friends when they are sad. how is that ruining anything. why do you hate happiness
Having to google internet slang your friend is using because you have no idea what the fuck it means.
So I’m moving into a new apartment, and I was told that the room had been damaged, but nothing could have prepared me for the fact that someone had carved Li Shang’s head out of the bathroom door and written “We must defeat the Huns!” on it.
when u tell a joke and no one else laughs but u